Breathing...

(...INHALE)
I spot you,
Walking down the hallway
With one hand around her,
And the other in your shiny windswept hair;
I feel tears stinging my eyes,
My heart leaps to my throat,
Tearing,
Aching,
Paining,
Hurting.
My throat constricts around the emotions,
That threaten to leap up and out of my lips.
I can feel my tears falling,
My hand trembles as I wipe them away,
Leaving a trail on my cheeks.
The path that awaits
Seems dark,
And lonely.
You see me, you smile.
I smile.
(The muscles around my mouth seem oddly stiff)
You walk towards me.
(She leaves)
You ask me how I am.
(I lie)
I answer that I am fine.
(My heart leaps into my mouth)
I want to tell you that I miss you,
To let you know how much I think of you,
How much you mean to me,
And I still love you.
I feel incomplete,
My heart aches,
My soul bleeds.
I ask you how you are,
(Hoping with every shred of my being, that you will say what I want to hear)
You reply,
Your answer not including,
That you miss me too,
And those moments we spent together,
The sunsets we watched,
The silent evenings spent in each others’ arms.
I gaze at you,
(My eyes attempting to strip you down to your soul)
To the person whom I thought I knew so well.
(They get lost)
And my heart leaps off the edge of my tongue,
Wanting you to see-
How you’ve hurt it,
How you’ve maimed it, how you’ve torn it apart,
Wanting you to feel a tiny bit of its anguish that claws it.
(And it falls to the ground.)
(She calls out to you)
(You glance over to her)
You smile at me, mutter a hasty goodbye,
And trot over to her,
Stamping,
Crushing,
Mutilating,
My poor, vulnerable, fallen heart.
(Not even pausing to scrape it off your shoe,
Like a discarded piece of gum.)
She puts her hand around your waist,
And you around hers,
Not turning back,
Not sparing a backward glance,
You walk away (away from me).
(I want to cry, scream, shout)
I want someone to find my poor heart,
Piece it back together,
Heal it,
Fill the dark, gaping hole your absence has left.
I turn around,
Hoping that one day it won’t hurt
(as much),
And begin to walk away,
Knowing that my shattered heart,
Won’t follow.
(EXHALE...).

After a friend’s suggestion I’ve finally started a blog. But what exactly I put up here is going to be difficult thing, because even though I love to write, it ain’t always brilliant. Nevertheless, I am going to try and make this blog something good if not exceptionally excellent. Till I come up with something worth that, so long!! :)